Yep, I gave it to him. We had a civilized conversation, and it seems he's actually a great guy. Sometimes apologizing for someone else's actions provokes healing. Yes, he chose that woman, but that doesn't mean he was wrong for choosing her. The people we go after is usually a learned behavior. He only went wrong when he didn't allow that situation to make him grow. He allowed it to make him bitter. How many women do you know choose the wrong men and end up hurt? Saying, "I'm sorry you went through that," and challenging them to heal is the right thing to do, in my opinion.

He is not my enemy. He is a Black king who needs his crown straightened. His mother could have been the first woman to hurt him. Hearing I'm sorry you went through that from a Black woman can mean something to him. It meant something to me when a Black man apologized for what my dad and other Black men did. I wasn't expecting him to apologize for them. I was just sharing my story. Sometimes people make people feel like what they've gone through is their fault. For years I felt like my trauma was my fault. Him sincerely apologizing made me see that there are Black men out there that understand and recognize what those other Black men did to me was not cool.

At the end of the day, we need each other, and the more of us that actually do the work and heal, the better. I won't allow his bitterness to make me bitter towards him. I think Black people need to learn to be patient and understanding towards each other and not allow each others trauma to make us bitter towards each other. I don't mind pulling a bitter man up if he's willing. The guy from the dating site was kind. It would be different if he was disrespectful towards me but clearly he was just hurt. I challenged him to heal and went on my way. I do this for a living whether it is a bitter Black man or a bitter Black woman. Thanks for reading.