Yes, I understand what you mean. As I mentioned above, this article can definitely go both ways. This is just my experience, but for those who return, I have more patience for them than for those who go to someone else and say the other group was the problem — when Black men stop dating Black women and say we are the problem.

The people who go back to people who possess shitty behavior usually believe that is love. Their parents most likely treated them the same way, so they grew up believing that’s what love looks like. I’ve heard women say crazy things like, “If he doesn’t beat me, he doesn’t love me.” That’s because that’s all they know. That’s not their fault, but if they don’t allow themselves to heal from their trauma, that becomes their fault in my opinion. That goes for men too. How we turned out from childhood to adulthood isn’t our fault, but who we decide to be after is our responsibility.

But for people who blame other people for their mistakes, I have less patience for them. They do not want to hold themselves accountable, and that is unfortunate. We all have stuff we have to hold ourselves accountable to. It’s a part of life and nothing to be ashamed of. It’s a part of being human. Thank you for reading. I really appreciate your thoughts. They are valuable. Please share. It would make me so happy (: